junctionj.community

...years celebrating US!
happeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee anniversary scrum ...I LOVE YOU ...I LOVE US! ...LOVE ME x

What is it you are most desperate for?
Take 10 seconds, and hold the thought that is in your head. Don't be clever, don't cheat yourself by giving the 'correct' answer, what ever that might be.

hmmmmmmmmm ....'mayday is an emergency code word used internationally as a distress signal in voice procedure radio communications ...it derives from the french venez m'aider, meaning, come help me'!

I posted this the other day on my MBA Group, but on reflection, it's probably more of a public one. Enjoy, Russ

***

I've been pressing in, full of faith and expectation that God is going to come up with the goods.

I've established a business, done my sales, got some clients.

Jo and I have set up junctionjcommunity.com, and spent money developing it, something that we feel God has told us to do. We've asked for support from our family and friends, we've written to organisations (and individuals who we know have vast resources).

We've set up an image bank to sell Jo's photos, and invested in getting her paintings printed as cards and prints, and contacted dozens of distributors to sell them.

Jo has started doing creative coaching.

In short, we have done all we can.

Yet after 18 months we've exhausted our sources of borrowing, and our income isn't enough to cover the business and personal expenses. We feel so close, and have thought, we are so nearly there, if God does this, or if that deal comes off, or if that organisation can support us.

We've prayed, we've interceded, we've gone to a car park at 1am (well I did!) and shouted to the heavens to release what's ours, we've rested, we've lived like kids in expectation that Daddy will provided.

No breakthrough.

There's no disappointment or anger at God, I still believe that he has plans to prosper us, plans to give us a hope and a future. There is so much mystery to God too... I know we are doing what God has asked us to do.

Maybe he's teaching us endurance. Maybe we're going through this to learn dependence on him. Maybe we're learning to praise and rejoice him (which we are, most of the time!!), even
"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls" (Hab 3:17)

But it's time to accept the situation and change tack.

Jo got an interview for a job to work from 4.30pm to 11pm. I have an application form for Starbucks - the local one is in cycling distance and opens at 5.30am, so if I can get that shift, that will let me come home early enough to take care of my clients.

I know that this is for a season, that the business and this community is what we are supposed to do. So at least that knowledge will get us through working jobs we don't really want to do - they become a means to an end.

I am encouraged by Christine's recent post. Maybe once we accept where we are, do something in the natural about it, we'll see change? Even if not, we'll at least get some cash coming in regularly!!!!

Russ

Gracie, our 4 year old, got the book ‘Bible for little hearts’ at story time before bed. It’s a little book of scripture versus, changed a little for kids, and it totally ministered to me. While I can’t quote the book, I can quote the versus, from the NIV. Here’s the OT ones - for best results read out loud!!

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

1 Samuel 26:23
The LORD rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness.

Psalm 8:9
O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Psalm 23:1
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

Psalm 23:6
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life

Psalm 56:3
When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

Psalm 116:1
I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

Psalm 118:1
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Proverbs 3:6
in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Isaiah 40:31
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Lamentations 3:23
(your mercies) are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Ezekiel 36:26
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

Habakkuk 3:19
The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

Russ

I know that God the Father loves me, but when I think of him, I usually 'see' him in my minds eye, on the throne, in all his power and majesty and splendour.

When I journal, I picture Jesus, and see him often, again in my mind's eye. I don't see detail of what Jesus looks like, only a figure. Once or twice, I have seen the outline of his face, with these amazing brown eyes - incredible, compassionate, loving eyes - they totally melted me.

The Shack opened up a new realm of understanding of the trinity for me, combined with Experiencing the Trinity, both incredible books (but very different!).

A month or so ago, I first 'saw' three different personalities, Father, Son and Holy Spirit in my soaking time, and realized that I could join that circle of love, the community of the trinity (you gotta read Experiencing the Trinity to get that) - that was amazing. In my God time, I have been receiving the love the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and giving love back. So my God time is like this:
Holy Spirit, I love you.
Father God, or Daddy, I love you.
Jesus, I love you.
Holy Spirit, I receive your love for me.
Daddy, I receive your love for me.
Jesus, I receive your love for me.

And I meditate on that, receiving and giving love to each personality of God.

Today though, I realized for the first time that God the Father is also a person, with a personality. That might sound obvious, but I have never seen him as that. I have seen him as a Supreme Being, all knowing, all seeing, ever present, eternally happy, seated on his throne in heaven, wise, loving, kind, good. But not manifested in a person until today.

Watching Prince Caspian over Christmas got this started. Lucy goes looking for Aslan, and she finds him, or rather he finds her. He first manifests in the form of the mighty king of the beasts, and roaringly defends Lucy against her attacker. Then when the attacker goes off the scene, Lucy runs to Aslan, and he lies down for her, and they play affectionately, Lucy rubbing her face in his fur. Such an incredible picture of our heavenly Father and how he wants to relate to us. Yes he is the Supreme Being, the King of Kings, the creator of heaven and earth, but he is also our Father, who loves his kids.

We have chiropractic care as a family, and I have a wedge where I lie out and stretch my neck. When my kids find me like that, they jump on me with cries of 'puppy pile on daddy!', and Judah, my nearly 2 year old boy tries to stand on my chest and jump up and down. It's a huge game, and they love it.

Today, for the first time, I saw my heavenly Father like that, a real person, who I could bury my head in his chest, be affectionate with, play with, love upon. And I felt his tangible 'fileo' love (fileo is the word for love used in Mark 1:9 at Jesus baptism, and it means 'natural demonstrated affection') for me. I feel so loved!

Some of you will know that Jo and I have been struggling financially recently, and we're really hitting a crisis now... yet I know I am so loved, I have so much peace, I know he is going to take care of me, how ever he does that. He loves me! I am so loved! I can see what Wayne Jacobsen calls 'living loved' in He loves me (another thoroughly recommended book).

My heart is truly singing, and the circumstances are not dictating that song, my heavenly Father's love for me is!

Russ

I have just finished "He loves me" by Wayne Jacobsen. It's an incredible book, and I can't recommend it enough - buy it! Here's the link to the book on Amazon.

Towards the end, he talks about the two choices we can ask in any situation:
Lord, save me!
Lord, glorify your name!

It's either do it my way God and rescue me, or Lord, I submit to you because I trust you and know you love me, so glorify your name in me! The latter was Jesus response in the Garden of Gethsemane, faced with a horrendous and tortuous death.

Too often, in fact nearly 99% of the time, I have been desperate to have my own way, to be rescued. And none more intensely than these last 18 months. But when I can say, "Lord, glorify your name," it's a shift of attitude that says, "Lord, I trust you, have your way."

I have not thought of it like this before, but it's already revolutionizing my thinking and attitude! We are so deeply loved, do you know that?? I think it's finally sinking in for me! Ha ha, yes! And if these 18 months have been for this moment, I'd do it all over again without thinking twice!

Russ

A somewhat belated Happy New Year to you all!

It's been an interesting few weeks... many thanks to all of you who prayed for us during Christmas when we had our car accident. We are all ok except Jo who has a painful shoulder, probably from whiplash - you can find out a bit more here about what happened. The car is repairable, but we still haven't got it back yet - it's in Pennsylvania (near the crash scene) getting repaired and hopefully will be ready to pick up this week.

Some of you will also know that we have been wrestling with finances, we've been working on business stuff that is bringing income in, but not enough to cover the business expenses and our living costs.

I am reading 'He loves me' by Wayne Jacobsen which I am loving and highly recommend - thanks Dallas for telling us about it.

I was reading chapter 11 the other night, entitled 'He loved you enough to let you go,' and it really spoke to me. It's all about trust, and it got me thinking about the last 18 months since we left paid employment, how it's been a journey of trust.

We had the revelation about internet church in 2000, and it didn't happen for a number of reasons until 2007, when God gave me a kick up the butt to get on with it (Jo was also telling me to get on with it, but I hadn't quite learned the value of listening to my wife then!). We stepped out in obedience in Feb 2007, and after a period of parental leave over the summer we felt that we were to leave our paid jobs in October. However, I took on the responsibility to provide for myself and my family, which is why we started the business up at the same time. I guess I didn't trust God to provide for us if all we did was the internet church. Don't get me wrong, it's good to be practical about work, but it's our heart attitude that God wants to address. And in my heart, I needed to provide, I didn't think God was going to come up with the goods.

Not only did I think I needed to be the provider, I had a quiet arrogance that I was going to make it, that I was going to be this amazing make it happen business guy.

18 months on and the business hasn't taken off in the way that we need it to, and I am being humbled that actually I can't do anything, that I need to trust God completely for provision. It's a heart issue, it may be that God does turn around and bless the business, but it might mean a part time job, it might mean more asking for help with junctionj community, or a combination of all of them.

Wayne Jacobsen uses Adam and Eve as an illustration of doing things our way. They didn't fully trust God's word about the tree of knowledge of good and evil, and the devil was able to get them to disobey God. But Wayne's point is not so much about the disobedience, but the lack of trust. If they trusted God, they would have laughed at the Devil suggestion that God was lying to them. He also makes two great other points - firstly, why didn't God put that tree in the furthest corner of the garden, or not put it there in the first place? And secondly why didn't God jump out and stop Eve? We know that God is omnipresent, so he was there. God wants us to trust him, even if he has to let us go our own way, whatever the consequences might be. And in Adam and Eve's case, he was already working out the plan of redemption with Jesus. He contrasts Jesus response to the Devil when Jesus is tested after a season in the wilderness.

God has let me have a go at doing it my way. But he's let me get to a point where I realize that I can't do this, that I need him. Yes I have been crying out to him for his blessing through this season, but it's asking him to bless what I am doing rather than looking to him to see what he is doing. It's hard though sometimes, in fairness, to see what God is doing when you are so emotionally involved.

The thought occurred to us that if we went to Nigeria to start an orphanage, we wouldn't be thinking about running a business in parallel to that, not unless it had direct benefit for the mission, like providing jobs. So why is internet church any different?

Could having a plan to develop our own income streams so we can do ministry put us in danger of doing things ourselves?

There are no obvious answers here, but we are starting to wonder what things look like if we trust God, to follow his leading. How do we trust him for our provision? The other issue has been the emotional energy spent building the business - it's taken by far the lion's share compared to junctionj community.

We're still not out of the woods yet, and we don't have the complete picture (so sorry if this blog isn't entirely clear!) but there's something new happening.

I wrote to our prayer shield this week, about wanting to 'be able to get on with what God has called us to do', in the context of junctionj community. But I am getting on with what God has called us to do - to be a son and to trust him.

I am reading some stuff on Song of Solomon, and came across this:

We had just passed through immigration at Lagos airport, and found our bags. I think it was around 11pm on a Friday night when we walked into the main hall to find a taxi.